I'm not. I promise. This whole college thing has literally taken over my life and I now realize how hard it was. Thank you mom, for warning me and me not caring. (Maybe I should listen to her more). I have BITCHED, YELLED AND COMPLAINED MY WAY OUT OF ALL OF THIS. My mother NOW does not care what I do with my life. I hate Lasell. I fucking mean this in everyway possible. I thought I really liked this school because of how fucking close I was to home. But there's so many fucking issues that are attached that always have to fucking concern me. I don't like the atmosphere of the college, the professors are unprofessional. The parties are small, no one is nice. I'm looking for a bigger school, where all sports are important. I'm not going to just play rugby, I want to SUCCEED in the sport. I want to take back what I lost, and that's my happiness, and health. When I'm on the field I have the determination to be the best and show everyone what I can handle. I love this sport because it's not all shits and giggles, it's tough and you're gonna have to hit hard, you're gonna have to get hit. All of the fucking issues that I have had at Lasell, I can't fix them. I have to soldier on and move the fuck on. I'm transferring after next semester, whether i'm a first year freshman or a sophomore. I don't care anymore all I want to be is happy. I wish I figured things out last year, I wish I told myself how things were gonna turn out.