cindy chen

Dear no one.

cindy chen
Dear no one.

Dear no one, 

I don't miss you at all. But sometimes i do. I miss the memories that we shared for the short period of time that we have known each other. When we would talk about fashion, boys, our experiences with failed friendships and normal teenager things. We shared so much personal information with each other. I shared my darkness with you. But I knew that there was something wrong. You knew everything about me, but I didn't know everything about you. Six months is a long time. Even when I'm so close to you. For the past six months, it has been nonstop crying, anxiety, depression and me making an awful lot of mistakes. Sometimes I would cry my eyes out and still that wouldn't be enough. You wern't there to comfort me. You "said" you were there for me, but those were words that you never acted upon. I'm still really broken inside and I guess there was a reason why you never texted first, invited me somewhere, or even asked to hang out with me. All I ever did was love you, for who you were and you meant the whole entire world to me at one point of my life. When I was at the absolute lowest point in highschool, I found you and we stuck with each other from there on out. I thought I found my best friend. But I know you're at a different place in your life and you have new friends now. You care about them so much because you don't want to loose them. I know. It's college. I know that you have your family members that care so much about you, your friends back home and everyone that dosen't pertain to me. You have others to care about and you were my number one person on top of the list that I adored and whom I have admired. I'm sad to see you go, but you never cared enough to visit or simply call me on my phone. It's true when my sister says I can't keep a friendship for more than a year. I tried my hardest to keep up with everything and try to be your number one. I guess this is a bittersweet goodbye. One part of me wants you to be in my life, but another part of me wants you to leave me alone since you broke my heart. As a previous friend, my advice to you is to care as much as possible about the people that care about you. Make the effort, friends come and go, but a sister is forever. In conclusion, this letter is hard for me to write because, I love you. I have felt so honored to have had you in my life, and I am eternally grateful to have had the chance to know you. I really wish our timing was different, because if we had met in another place and time, who knows what we could have done? Thank you for loving me so much that you are willing to let me go. I will always love you for being there for me when times were rough. I will always remember you, always.

With all due respect and love, 

Cindy.